Inside Edition

Somehow, right now I feel the need to confide in this here blog. Although in reality I'm probably the only one reading it, so really I'm pretty much talking to myself, I want to just let go of somethings.
School's been fine, classes are boring like usual, and Band is getting harder, since we are getting closer to the Beginning Band Festival. Only a couple weeks away. I usually stay home, and try to talk to people on google talk, but it doesn't seem to work since everyone's busy. I'm playing tennis, which is so fun. Although I'm the oldest there, I love talking and playing some games with a 6th grader, who is going to my Middle School next year, and a 4th grader, who is probably gonna get the 3 of us into trouble. But, hey even we can get away with it. Just making fun of the teachers, and really they're having fun too, so no harm done.
That's basicaly all the things that have been in my mind this past year, but something else has crept up in there.

A BOY

Now you have to know this, he's not the average boy, he's a Eighth grader, a whole grade higher than me. Now usually I go for the guys that are in my grade, and sometimes I am older than them, but they are crushes, so it really doesn't go anywhere. But this guy, Colin, is in my Gym class so, yay for me! I know this sounds really girlish, but hey I'm a girl too! But whenever I go into Gym I look for him, that's why I like to get in there early, plus I don't like to be late. Usually in the Gym we have out spots, and did I mention he is super hot! I usually don't use that term, but for him it is so necessary. Anyway, over the past, I want to say 2 weeks, or so I keep getting this feeling like I'm being watched. We're in close approximately to each other so I can look at him too! LOL. But sometimes when I look at him when I'm feeling watched, I can just see his eyes avert to somewhere else! Now I don't know if he's looking past me, but there is nothing behind me, or if he's been looking at me. Kind of during this "watching period" I went to a Swim meet, where he was competing. And he went by the bleachers twice and every time he went past where I was on the bleachers I wasn't necessarily watching him but I kind of felt that maybe he was looking at me for a bit when we went by.

Some of my friends just think that he was looking around the bleachers and just looked at me to say to himself Hey she's in my Gym class but I'm not sure.
Then there was last week when we were in a line to play Kick ball, and we had to go; boy, girl, boy, girl. There were a couple girls in front of me and then there was Colin. And he asks me to come in front of him. So I went in front of him and had my turn, then when we were up there again to kick, he asked me to come in front of him again. Of course by this time I was kind of flustered, but at the same time I was annoyed so I said to him "I have a name." Because before that he just said and pointed to me "Hey, can you come up here in front of me." And I wanted him to stop saying that and just say my name, so he could call me by my name. So I told him what my name was, and he replied "Oh, ok, you can come in front of me." I said thanks and that was basically the end of Gym class. I felt like I made an impression. :)
Then there was last Tuesday, the 18th. That was a very nerve-racking day. It was the beginning of Gym class, I have Gym 1st period, so the bell hadn't rung yet. My Gym teacher had the Volleyball nets up, and I went to sit down by the pole. I had my back to the pole where the net was stationed and I had my legs straight out and crossed. I was sitting there for maybe a minute, and there were only about 4 other people in the gym besides me who were racing on the other side, so I was by myself sitting there. Then Colin came into Gym. The next part of this is not a lie, this really happened. I saw Colin come into the gym (like I always look for him) and he started walking straight towards me. His spot in the Gym for attendance was kind of in front and to the left of me so I thought he was going to put his sweatshirt there, like he usually does. But no, he kept on walking towards me. Right now when I think about it, I am so glad I didn't freak out. Of course I was saying to myself, "OH MY GOSH!" but I didn't move I just watched him come closer, kind of like you would naturally do to someone who was coming your way. So then he comes up to me and he stops by my feet. I'm looking at him and he then gently taps my foot and then looks at me. I have no idea why he did that, and it was kind of hard to say something, so I might have said something like this "Why did you, what" something like that, and I have a question mark on my face, of course trying not to freak out. And he says "Sorry" like a fake sorry. Kind of like whenever you poke your friend and you say sorry when you both know your kidding. Except I didn't know what to do in this situation, so I said "yeah, uhuh right." Still a puzzled look on my face, trying not to explode. Then he turns around and walks towards his friends who just came into the gym. At that point I was happy, and trying to make out what that was about. That might have been a signal to say that he might "possibly" have a crush on me. A 7th grader. But I don't know, but I hope it was. All of that was the truth, none of it fiction.
That was my best moment ever in Gym! And now I just try to catch his eye in Gym to try to signal to him that I like him. But just a hint, if he hasn't gotten it already. But I do, really want to let him know that I like him, without telling him myself. I think.